Sunday, November 30, 2008

when all u need, is a darn good book

A few days into the holidays, and what can i say. I come home to find that i have been moved to a bigger room (fomerly the tv/lounge space upstairs), which is a nice surprise. But there's heck of a lot of stuff as big as the space is, and i think some sorting out needs to be done a.s.a.p.

You'd be surprised at the amount of books scattered in my house. Some of which are now safely collecting dust on the shelves.
Mum being a teacher means that there's tons of books on Maths and Science everywhere, from workbooks to textbooks to folders filled with past papers. There's always the question of whether to throw or not to throw out the old outdated books. There's always a 'just in case' involved whenever we decide to chuck away the old books.

Just in case we need to revise the old syllabus.
Just in case my bro might want to use it in a couple of years.
Just in case we just might need it.

Then to add to the collection are dad's old books, business books mostly. I reckon they were purchased at a time when he was still studying. I'm not sure who would want to read those, but they're still around, awaiting a keen eye to lay upon them one day. Dad also collect books on things like
"Keeping a positive mind"
"8 books you must read"
or something along those lines. Sort of motivational books he collects during his travels here and there. most of which ends up on the shelves after a good one round.

And there's my books, ones collected these past few years as a budding engineer. Honestly speaking though, there are some of the books that have still crisp pages, and covers hard and new. ;p
Cant blame me for losing interest in a book filled with jargons and numbers u'd take a while to understand. *sigh*

and there's the bunch of other books thats lost somewhere in the mix. The story books that's been thrice read cover to cover, the books that were bought at a flea market and no one seems to read since they were bought, the books that we have no idea came from where but seems to always be there, and the books that were once leisure reading material for mum and dad when they were in their teens.

now, we cant seem to have a proper place to put them all. so now here they are, in my room, the whole lot (after what dad said to be a whole day of filtering through the pile, the collection now has minimized in size). All mixed and matched, in no particular order or category. They fall under one general category, 'book'.;p
When i'm bored, i go through the shelves, and i occasionally find a good book to read. Well, not that good, but its something to put me to sleep.......more or less.

unless of course, some of you would be a dear, and sing me a lullaby? :)

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Hey, so its been a while.

I should be writing more..a self reminder...God knows there are a sure heck of a lot of things racing through my head at any particular time..all wanting attention, and all end up being put on hold. I have never been the quaint multi tasker.

so, finally, exams are over. after what it seems like a long couple of weeks, im once again rid of the books and pens for a couple of weeks. I have so looked forward to the days after the exams, but when they do come around i find myself wondering. Wondering what am I to do to fill in the times that i have now been blessed with so abundantly.

I have always thought that i wanted to live a bum life. Maybe live on a tropical island, where my activities revolves around water, and lazing about in a hammock between coconut trees. That is what i have always thought would be the life for me....
but now i dont see me ever surviving that...seriously..

I have slowly to begin turning into somewhat of a workaholic. In which case i have no idea if that is a good thing or a bad thing. Its because i find that when i have work to do, i have a reason not to worry about other things. I have a reason to be just shut in, and keep my head in work.
Its sort of therapeutic at times, a confidence boost when for once, ure done with ur work way ahead of time. :P

What to do, what to do..

I think ill just keep my behind at home for the upcoming few days into the holidays. De stress the stressed, and just get into my holiday mood.
Lupakan sahaja perkara-perkara remeh seperti buku dan pena dan kalkulator. Aku relieve them of their duties buat sementara waktu.

Happy Holidays People, have a good one. :D

Saturday, November 15, 2008

on another note.

Its interesting, how things can get more complicated the more u try to un-complexify it. How it snowballs to something bigger, when all ure trying to do, its limit things to within ur area of control.

A one on one confrontation, can on the upbeat, turn into a bloody battle royale. Sparked from any reasons whatsoever, its hard to contain the battle ,if everyone is pushing people inside the ring, willingly, and unwillingly. Spectators tend to get tied up in the mix, either in the ring punching it out, or on the sidelines, shouting out words to egg people on....
and if bad luck would have it, a stray punch catches one in the chin, teeth spattered on the floor, and one realize that they were never meant to be in the fight in the first place.

its hard when your pulling punches to those who are hidden to u. u dont know who is on whose team, all incognito, trying to play both sides. So u keep ur punches to a minimal, and raise the white flag early. Pray to the Lord, that ur enemies have not multiplied with the stray punches that u dished out.

They say, you shud keep punching, fight the fight that keeps on coming, to the very last.
What i'd say is, if u can surrender now, and end up with lesser enemies, why not do so now? There's no shame in admitting defeat.

Let me pave this world, a one man army.

and oh, just fyi. this is my space to write. if any of you have any qualms with the things i write, then feel free to email me, or leave a comment. or, start your own blog, and write about it there.
adding more creative writing people in the world, is never a bad thing.

or u can just piss off.


sweetalker and rotten through and through.

perhaps ill live up to that expectation. ill prove them correct at least.

Friday, November 7, 2008

You know that fat kid that always got picked on in school?

Its funny, apabila aku teringatkan zaman kanak-kanak aku dulu. Lucu. Lucu bukan sebab aku jenis yang suka buat lawak, people who knew me back then would certainly know this. Seingat aku dulu, aku bukan jenis yang selesa berjenaka, dan tak tahu selok belok untuk membuat lawak2 spontan. Aku rasa aku juga tak reti membuat kawan, sebab seingat aku masa skolah rendah, rakan-rakan aku tak ramai.
Aku hanya punyai seorang rakan baik semasa aku darjah 5 & 6. Budak berketurunan India, devout Christian, bernama Joseph. Kenal pun kerana dia duduk di meja sebelah, kalau tidak, entah kenal nama pun tidak.

and in case u were wondering.

Yeah, i was always the loser fat kid that people would pick on, and my childhood days were cold and lonely.

Aku ingat, aku bukan budak popular di sekolah rendah. Tak hairanlah, pabila aku jumpa orang-orangan di UTP ini yang pernah satu skolah rendah dengan aku dulu, kelas sebelah lagi, mereka tak ingat aku. sedih bukan? well, i dont blame them, my primary school years*tty, and i have a personal grudge against this one teacher of mine.grrr....

that aside..

Sepanjang hidup aku sekolah rendah, dan separuh masa aku di alam sekolah menengah, aku hanya ditemani buku-buku. Lepas sekolah, masa apabila rakan-rakan lain bergegas mahu pulang, aku akan melangkah ke library. Baca majalah, dan akan tengok di rak "Latest arrivals" untuk judul2 buku yang menarik. Library di sekolah aku masa itu, St Mary's, memang heaven aku masa lepas sekolah. its was my fortress, and it was there i was in my zone.

Yeah, the life i lead back then was a boring bookworm one.(-_-!!)

Aku ke sekolah menaiki tren, dan pulang berjalan kaki. The routine was so much so revolved around books, yang aku akan membaca sambil berjalan. My feet were so familiar with the route home, that i don't need my eyes to see where i'm going. Only the occasional glance now and then to make sure i dont walk into any traffic, and that's about it.

Aku ingat lagi, tahun 2000 kalau tak silap, aku bawa pulang buku Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Mrs Gurmeet (librarian) kata she just got the book, and wondered if i would like to have a go at it first.
Aku ingat, ayah aku lihat aku berguling di atas sofa, membaca buku si Harry itu.
He took a look at the cover, which at the time had only childish illustrations, and asked me what on earth was i reading,. Iwas prompted to put it away, and go to bed.

That was so many years ago, so so many years. And it has been a while since i snug myself into a good book. Sekarang aku tak punyai masa untuk melayan fantasi, melayan bahan bacaan kecuali yang berkaitan nombor2 kejuruteraan.

Now, at 22, still chubby, i find that i miss reading. However, i think i've met some of the most interesting people within this last few years. So hey, i dont read that much anymore, but at least i have more people around me now, who i hope, i can call friends.

aww, nice huh? huhu~

there's more to come btw, when i feel like writing.

and oh, de ja vu...i think ive written about this some time ago...;p

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Ku singkap.

kenapa hidup ini mesti ade kompilkasi?
sering diiringi drama-drama iras-iras telenovela.

lucu, aku sering lihat drama di sekeliling, percaya bahawa diri sendiri tidak akan terlibat dengan adengan2 sebegitu. angkuh bahawa aku tak perlu hadapi liku-liku hidup sebegitu. angkuh, yang diri ini akan terkecuali.

aku tak suka drama, aku cukup tak suka. lebih2 lagi kalau aku tahu, pengakhirannya tak akan berubah walaupun terdapat banyak twist di sana sini.
aku memang begitu, malas mahu berjuang jika tahu, endingnya akan tetap sama.

why fight a losing battle?

drama, everybody has them.


oh, dan aku juga muhasabah diri tempoh hari, menilai diri sendiri..bertemankan ceiling.

aku tak mengerti cara untuk handle kene turn down. kalau aku minta pertolongan, dan orang kata "tak boleh", aku terus bawa diri ke tempat lain. aku tak dapat nak korek dari dalam diri aku ini, untuk bertanya berkali2 sehingga dapat, atau sehingga puas...i'll only ask for anything once, kalau tak mahu atau tak sudi, tak mengapa. aku tak mahu paksa.

yeah, aku ada masalah dengan ego barangkali...

aku punyai presentasi Final Year Project aku hari Rabu akan datang. slide power point aku masih belum siap..

you want to wish me luck?

tak mahu tak mengapa.;p